DIVINE MYSTERY of HUSBAND AND WIFE
Tags: christian orientation, divine mystery of husband and wife, Savior Jesus Christ
DIVINE MYSTERY of HUSBAND AND WIFE
The Christian orientation of the husband toward his wife and the wife
towards her husband is a primary divine mystery.
Particular attention and appropriate affection to one another are of
such importance that lack of discernment of husband and wife as male and
female joint heirs of God’s grace (the grace of life) results in unanswered
prayers and hindered relationship with God.(I.Peter 3.7).
Here is Karl Barth with more detail on the importance of this relationship:
” The commanded orientation of the sexes on one another, which consitutes
the essence of of each, can be summed up under three heads. They are to
consider one another, to hear the question which each puts to the other
and to make responsible answer to one another.
To consider one another means to know, or more precisely to want to know,
about one another: not, then, as if they already knew about one another;
not on the basis of a preconceived general or even personal judgement of
men about women or of women about men; but with unprejudiced eyes
and generous hearts, always ready to learn something new, to turn the
corner and see something better. Among the immediate data of existence
there is certainly no greater riddle for man than the fact of the existence of
woman and the question as to her nature. And on the other hand the same
applies to women. We need not think that a man can exist without
encountering this riddle and being preoccupied with it, nor need we think
that he has already solved it. To live humanly means never to escape the
astonishment of one’s own sex at the other, and the desire of one’s sex to
understand the other.
But each sex has also to realize that it is questioned by the other. The puzzle
which the opposite sex implies for it is not theoretical but practical, not
optional but obligatory, not factual but human.
It is the great human puzzle which as man and woman they put to one
another in their mutual confrontation. As man and woman are human in
their co-existence and mutual confrontation, neither the one nor the other
can be content with his own sexuality or heedlessly work out his sexually
conditioned capacities, needs, interests, tendencies, joys and sorrows.
Man is unsettled by woman and woman by man. There is always this
unsettlement by the opposite sex where there is the encounter of man and
woman.
Each is asked by the opposite sex: “Why are you, in fact so different from
myself? Can and will you guarantee that your mode of life which disconcerts
me is also human? Can you show me this in such a way that I can understand
it?” There is such a thing as a silent by severe criticism which tacitly but
persistently and in all conceivable forms passes between man and woman in
their mutual relationships. The woman stands always in a certain tension
to the man, and the man to the woman.
No one can escape this unsettlement, this criticism and tension. To live
humanly means to hear and face this question at the expense on both
sides of self-glorification or simply self-satisfaction.
And the question challenges both man and woman to act in responsibility
to each other. As they consider one another and necessarily realize that
they question each other, they become mutually not the law of each other’s
being (for each must be true to his particularity), but the measure or
criterion of their inner right to live in their sexual distinctiveness. Man can
be and speak and act as a true man only as he realizes that in so doing he
must answer the question of woman, i.e., give her an account of his
humanity. Much that is typically masculine would have to be left unsaid
and undone, or said and done quite differently, if man remembered that
in it, if it is to be truly masculine, he must prove his humanity in the eye
of the woman, to whom he constitutes so great a question mark.”
We understand that since we try to explain the rational of our actions to
the opposite sex, our actions come under question, accountability
and scrutiny. This is a major factor that regulates and governs
inter-gender relationships and brings greater effectiveness to our lives.
Karl Barth thinks that anyone who might try to avoid or evade this
scrutiny, whether male or female, is missing a great deal.
Here is what he says about this:
” For this reason all the movements of man and woman in which there is
an open or secret attempt to escape this reciprocal responsibilty are suspect
at least from the very outset. On both sides, everything is at stake here. They
are not to elude their mutual responsibility, but to fulfill it. And of course
they must do it even when no representative of the opposite sex is present.
As a norm and criterion the opposite sex is always and everywhere
invisibly present. The divine decision that it is not good for man to be alone
has been taken irrevocably and it applies to woman as well as to man. For
both, therefore, there is only an incidental, external, provisional and
transient isolation and autonomy. They elude themselves if they try to
escape their orientation on one another, i.e., the fact that they are ordered,
related and directed to one another. Their being is always and in all
circumstances a being with the other.
In obedience to God’s command they will know that they are always and in
all circumstances bound to remember and to do justice to the character
of their existence as an existence in relationship”
Church Dogmatics by Karl Barth contains phenomenal insight and wisdom
much needed especially in our time. The reader is encouraged to get a copy
and read this vital work by the preeminent theologian Karl Barth.
POINTS FOR MEDITATION AND PRAISE
1) The truly amazing and fascinating relational existence to which our
Creator has assigned for us is ever fresh an exciting. The Triune God
relates in the sphere of love,because God is love. The Oneness of the
Trinity is based on the foundation of the excellent love of the Father,Son
and Holy Spirit.
2) The fantastic opportunity for growth, understanding, learning and
improvement which comes with the husband and wife relationship is
divine and unique. It can not be altered, substituted or avoided without
significant consequences.
3) Praise, glory and honor be to our heavenly Father, our Savior Jesus
Christ and the Holy Spirit. We are eternally grateful for this wonderful
divine mystery which is understood by experience as it is shaped and
nurtured by God’s unconditional AGAPE love. HALLELUJAH!