DIVINE MYSTERY of HUSBAND AND WIFE

DIVINE MYSTERY of  HUSBAND AND WIFE

The Christian orientation of the husband toward his wife and the wife

towards her husband  is a primary divine mystery.

Particular attention and appropriate affection to one another are of

such importance that lack of discernment of husband and wife as male and

female joint heirs of God’s grace (the grace of life) results in unanswered

prayers and hindered relationship with God.(I.Peter 3.7).

Here is Karl Barth with  more detail on the importance of this relationship:

” The commanded orientation of the sexes on one another, which consitutes

the essence of of each, can be summed up under three heads. They are to

consider one another, to hear the question which each puts to the other

and to make responsible answer to one another.

To consider one another means to know, or more precisely to want to know,

about one another: not, then, as if they already knew about one another;

not on the basis of a preconceived general or even personal judgement of

men about women or of women about men; but with unprejudiced eyes

and generous hearts, always ready to learn something new, to turn the

corner and see something better. Among the immediate data of existence

there is certainly no greater riddle for man than the fact of the existence of

woman and the question as to her nature. And on the other hand the same

applies to women. We need not think that a man can exist without

encountering this riddle and being preoccupied with it, nor need we think

that he has already solved it. To live humanly means never to escape the

astonishment of one’s own sex at the other, and the desire of one’s sex to

understand the other.

But each sex has also to realize that it is questioned by the other. The puzzle

which the opposite sex implies for it is not theoretical but practical, not

optional but obligatory, not factual but human.

It is the great human puzzle which as man and woman they put to one

another in their mutual confrontation. As man and woman are human in

their co-existence and mutual confrontation, neither the one nor the other

can be content with his own sexuality or heedlessly work out his sexually

conditioned capacities, needs, interests, tendencies, joys and sorrows.

Man is unsettled by woman and woman by man. There is always this

unsettlement by the opposite sex where there is the encounter of man and

woman.

Each is asked by the opposite sex: “Why are you, in fact so different from

myself? Can and will you guarantee that your mode of life which disconcerts

me is also human? Can you show me this in such a way that I can understand

it?” There is such a thing as a silent by severe criticism which tacitly but

persistently and in all conceivable forms passes between man and woman in

their mutual relationships. The woman stands always in a certain tension

to the man, and the man to the woman.

No one can escape this unsettlement, this criticism and tension. To live

humanly means to hear and face this question at the expense on both

sides of self-glorification or simply self-satisfaction.

And the question challenges both man and woman to act in responsibility

to each other. As they consider one another and necessarily realize that

they question each other, they become mutually not the law of each other’s

being (for each must be true to his particularity), but the measure or

criterion of their inner right to live in their sexual distinctiveness. Man can

be and speak and act as a true man only as he realizes that in so doing he

must answer the question of woman, i.e., give her an account of his

humanity. Much that is typically masculine would have to be left unsaid

and undone, or said and done quite differently, if man remembered that

in it, if it is to be truly masculine, he must prove his humanity in the eye

of the woman, to whom he constitutes so great a question mark.”

We understand that since we try to explain the rational of our actions to

the opposite sex, our actions come under question, accountability

and scrutiny. This is a major factor that regulates  and governs

inter-gender relationships and brings greater effectiveness to our lives.

Karl Barth thinks that anyone who might try to avoid or evade this

scrutiny, whether male or female, is missing a great deal.

Here is what he says about this:

” For this reason all the movements of man and woman in which there is

an open or secret attempt to escape this reciprocal responsibilty are suspect

at least from the very outset. On both sides, everything is at stake here. They

are not to elude their mutual responsibility, but to fulfill it. And of course

they must do it even when no representative of the opposite sex is present.

As a norm and criterion the opposite sex is always and everywhere

invisibly present. The divine decision that it is not good for man to be alone

has been taken irrevocably and it applies to woman as well as to man. For

both, therefore, there is only an incidental, external, provisional and

transient isolation and autonomy. They elude themselves if they try to

escape their orientation on one another, i.e., the fact that they are ordered,

related and directed to one another. Their being is always and in all

circumstances a being with the other.

In obedience to God’s command they will know that they are always and in

all circumstances bound to remember and to do justice to the character

of their existence as an existence in relationship”

 Church Dogmatics by Karl Barth contains phenomenal insight and wisdom

much needed especially in  our time. The reader is encouraged to get a copy

and read this vital work by the preeminent theologian Karl Barth.

POINTS FOR MEDITATION AND PRAISE

1) The truly amazing and fascinating relational existence to which our

Creator has assigned for us is  ever fresh an exciting. The Triune God

relates in the sphere of love,because God is love. The Oneness of the

Trinity is based on the foundation of the excellent love of the Father,Son

and Holy Spirit.

2) The fantastic opportunity for growth, understanding, learning and

improvement which comes with the husband and wife relationship is

divine and unique. It can not be altered, substituted or avoided without

significant consequences.

3) Praise, glory and honor be to our heavenly Father, our Savior Jesus

Christ and the Holy Spirit. We are eternally grateful for this wonderful

divine mystery which is understood by experience as it is shaped and

nurtured by God’s unconditional AGAPE love. HALLELUJAH!